I use the program called Eliza. It's been around for ages. It's a lot better than some of the supposedly good counsellors I've tried, which I will never try again (I *know* you will get that allusion, Alicia, which I only put in to demonstrate how erudite and literate I am). Here it is, you should give it a whirl I think: https://psych.fullerton.edu/mbirnbaum/psych101/eliza.htm
'a modern-day “check yes or no” love letter updated to “check all that apply.”' This is brilliant, Alicia; I think you should make it available to your readers in the form of a template. I often fret over my replies, but in the same manner as my proofreading (see my other comment), ie after I've sent it.
LOL I love the idea of a template! I've thought about publishing a follow-up of all the replies I drafted to the Patrick in question, as they're still saved on my hard-drive. But there's a real risk readers will think I'm crazy.
I find all of Alicia's writing seductive actually. I'd be smitten even if all she did was write a shopping list. And, Mary, you're the one responsible because I came across Alicia on Inner Life!
"I imagine what a cooler, more put-together version of me would reply and over-edit until that supposedly cooler, put-together version of me sounds either depressed or psychotic." Man! I sure do recognize this syndrome, but in writing fiction. When to stop editing, for God's sake!? I re-read so many times I don't even know what the story says anymore. I just send it out and pray it is still viable. Great post, Alicia!
I never edit. My foolproof method of proofreading is to publish it to hundreds of people or make hundreds of copies, and then all the errors miraculously come to light.
That really does work quite well. Actually, my most polished posts are the ones I schedule a few hours in advance -- my brain starts thinking of it as a published piece and gives me times to refine accordingly.
It feels as if the author's pangs are my own. It's hard to conjure memories of youth that stir. There's always a weird psychological embellishment in your work and I don't quite understand the talent that this requires, but it it is hypnotic to the degree that the heart cares for the special moments of a life.
Thank you so much, Michael! I like the term psychological embellishment. In conversation, sometimes that means I give rather round-about answers to otherwise direct questions. 😅 I like to think that makes me mysterious, like an onion, but definitely works better on the page.
OH MY! How did I miss this?!? I don’t recall being in a coma, or was I? - I love this photo! You two look like a couple of swans. Beautifully adorable. 🥰 So much has made my day, and seeing this is a big part of it. (And I so needed that) Lucky you. 🎊
Lady, I understand you. Freezing response, particularly when the outreach resonates a shower of compliment can be dizzying, though the stall is stagnation and the moment benefits most from participation, I’ve found. “ Strike while the iron is hot” has more meaning to me today than it did last week.
It gets better, and can bring discovery and bonding. Bite the bunny ears, wear the sweater, and leave preservation to the museum. I don’t even save date night dresses for a date; I go with inspiration even if for just a walk in the park. It’s how I woke up stuck in the sparkling Madonna corset I put on to read a book, and had to dash to Starbucks amidst what appeared to be holiday churchgoers cause my coffee maker broke. Oh yeah, I made a mess. (I don’t go to Starbucks, though folks still sometimes wave.)
Chatting with someone on IG, I had to explain how a segment in his film hit me on the 9/11 anniversary yesterday, triggering the nausea PTSD element. Equally dizzying, I confronted this different strong emotion, and found greatness from it. And that’s not all the oddness I spilled, though the outcome maintained the possibility of a collaborator I am getting to know with a further established bond and comfort in communication. Though I’ve been a mess no cryroroller could depuff today, I found something in the moment. And no ghost in a physical body could impact me as much as the one who was really gone. Hello and goodbye has its discomfort, as does the voice of someone I planned to meet that never left my head. (I am so thankful and delighted to have found today’s love bomber.)
Even if I may get busy for a moment, I never ghost. It’s just not good manners. There is a certain balance in managing expectations and establishing trust, but to get there we all must go through the unknowns to find what is truly helpful.
PS: I love that film Happy Thank You More Please, if that’s what you’re referencing. The depth of concept in right or wrong of involvement with the child is striking. And it does have the element of taking chances and responding phrased “Go out and get yourself loved.” ( if I have that line correct) last viewed it one holiday, and looked to see if he was writing anything else on his own and found two music releases by him and Ben Lee. (Behind on so much getting past “the f-word” still) I loved it so much and listened on replay, I am sure I funded some groceries every month, shifting between Spotify and YouTube.
Your writing is wonderful, Alicia, and I am still backtracking through your posts as Tyche’s Pack Rat derailed, and my b-day tradition begins. So far so good, and many many many days of celebration to go. Big hug to you, Alicia. cheers 🥰
This is so relatable! The more important/flattering/amazing the text, the longer I spend reeling over it and never having the words to respond. So I’ll say here what I normally end up saying instead: 🔥☀️🙌💪🌝
You are neither depressed nor psychotic but I agree, what a great line!!!
Hahaha! Thanks Mom :)
This strikes me as nepotism.
😂
Have you considered using ChatGPT to write replies? It cuts out all the angst. I use it for all my comments, including this one.
You know, I've consulted ChatGPT a few times for fun as a kind of AI pseudo-therapist! It really is quite empathetic.
🙃
I use the program called Eliza. It's been around for ages. It's a lot better than some of the supposedly good counsellors I've tried, which I will never try again (I *know* you will get that allusion, Alicia, which I only put in to demonstrate how erudite and literate I am). Here it is, you should give it a whirl I think: https://psych.fullerton.edu/mbirnbaum/psych101/eliza.htm
"A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again"?
that's right! Chortle
😍
I felt an immense amount of pressure just then and now feel so proud of myself that I did know it. Whew!! 😅
😂 Of course you knew it! I think I recall your saying that you liked DFW.
'a modern-day “check yes or no” love letter updated to “check all that apply.”' This is brilliant, Alicia; I think you should make it available to your readers in the form of a template. I often fret over my replies, but in the same manner as my proofreading (see my other comment), ie after I've sent it.
LOL I love the idea of a template! I've thought about publishing a follow-up of all the replies I drafted to the Patrick in question, as they're still saved on my hard-drive. But there's a real risk readers will think I'm crazy.
Yes, but only in a nice way. 😜
Ha!
Sounds downright seductive, to me.
What is writing if not seduction, really?
Good point.
Yes, but in this case ... something more definitely going on ... xo ~Mary
I find all of Alicia's writing seductive actually. I'd be smitten even if all she did was write a shopping list. And, Mary, you're the one responsible because I came across Alicia on Inner Life!
Now I feel like I should write a shopping list!
😂
"I imagine what a cooler, more put-together version of me would reply and over-edit until that supposedly cooler, put-together version of me sounds either depressed or psychotic." Man! I sure do recognize this syndrome, but in writing fiction. When to stop editing, for God's sake!? I re-read so many times I don't even know what the story says anymore. I just send it out and pray it is still viable. Great post, Alicia!
When to stop editing, that’s the rub indeed!! I’ve edited more than a few pieces entirely out of existence so much I’ve wound myself in knots. 🫣
This cracked me up. YES!! I know. It is tragic.
😂
I never edit. My foolproof method of proofreading is to publish it to hundreds of people or make hundreds of copies, and then all the errors miraculously come to light.
That really does work quite well. Actually, my most polished posts are the ones I schedule a few hours in advance -- my brain starts thinking of it as a published piece and gives me times to refine accordingly.
Same here!
It feels as if the author's pangs are my own. It's hard to conjure memories of youth that stir. There's always a weird psychological embellishment in your work and I don't quite understand the talent that this requires, but it it is hypnotic to the degree that the heart cares for the special moments of a life.
Thank you so much, Michael! I like the term psychological embellishment. In conversation, sometimes that means I give rather round-about answers to otherwise direct questions. 😅 I like to think that makes me mysterious, like an onion, but definitely works better on the page.
OH MY! How did I miss this?!? I don’t recall being in a coma, or was I? - I love this photo! You two look like a couple of swans. Beautifully adorable. 🥰 So much has made my day, and seeing this is a big part of it. (And I so needed that) Lucky you. 🎊
Lady, I understand you. Freezing response, particularly when the outreach resonates a shower of compliment can be dizzying, though the stall is stagnation and the moment benefits most from participation, I’ve found. “ Strike while the iron is hot” has more meaning to me today than it did last week.
It gets better, and can bring discovery and bonding. Bite the bunny ears, wear the sweater, and leave preservation to the museum. I don’t even save date night dresses for a date; I go with inspiration even if for just a walk in the park. It’s how I woke up stuck in the sparkling Madonna corset I put on to read a book, and had to dash to Starbucks amidst what appeared to be holiday churchgoers cause my coffee maker broke. Oh yeah, I made a mess. (I don’t go to Starbucks, though folks still sometimes wave.)
Chatting with someone on IG, I had to explain how a segment in his film hit me on the 9/11 anniversary yesterday, triggering the nausea PTSD element. Equally dizzying, I confronted this different strong emotion, and found greatness from it. And that’s not all the oddness I spilled, though the outcome maintained the possibility of a collaborator I am getting to know with a further established bond and comfort in communication. Though I’ve been a mess no cryroroller could depuff today, I found something in the moment. And no ghost in a physical body could impact me as much as the one who was really gone. Hello and goodbye has its discomfort, as does the voice of someone I planned to meet that never left my head. (I am so thankful and delighted to have found today’s love bomber.)
Even if I may get busy for a moment, I never ghost. It’s just not good manners. There is a certain balance in managing expectations and establishing trust, but to get there we all must go through the unknowns to find what is truly helpful.
PS: I love that film Happy Thank You More Please, if that’s what you’re referencing. The depth of concept in right or wrong of involvement with the child is striking. And it does have the element of taking chances and responding phrased “Go out and get yourself loved.” ( if I have that line correct) last viewed it one holiday, and looked to see if he was writing anything else on his own and found two music releases by him and Ben Lee. (Behind on so much getting past “the f-word” still) I loved it so much and listened on replay, I am sure I funded some groceries every month, shifting between Spotify and YouTube.
Your writing is wonderful, Alicia, and I am still backtracking through your posts as Tyche’s Pack Rat derailed, and my b-day tradition begins. So far so good, and many many many days of celebration to go. Big hug to you, Alicia. cheers 🥰
This is a lovely piece, Alicia.
🥰
This is so relatable! The more important/flattering/amazing the text, the longer I spend reeling over it and never having the words to respond. So I’ll say here what I normally end up saying instead: 🔥☀️🙌💪🌝
I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!! 🤪
👨💻
🙏