Loved this post Alicia. It reminded me of a particular skill my wife and children say I have that is the opposite of an ice-breaker. A conversation stopper. Not in the interesting sense, but in the sense that supposedly, I can effortlessly divert a good conversation into a dark cul de sac where the once healthy conversation is quickly strangled.
In the most complimentary way, probably because of the footnotes, but also because of the delightfully widening details, this essay reminds me of David Foster Wallace, but easier to read and funnier
i havent even got to the title essay of "Consider the Lobster" for months as anal as i CAN be but not charachteristically...that fucker brings it out in one🤗🤣😡
When I told my husband the story you put in footnote number 8, his jaw dropped open and he said, "That did NOT happen!" I told him that I was pretty sure it did. It's a hilarious anecdote that might work in your Moth story.
Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates ice breakers. I spend the entire time crafting my response in my head, so I don't hear anyone else's, anyway.
LOL! You can tell your husband it absolutely happened. Micheal spent quite awhile crafting that response, and my mother really laughed! He won her over. Thank you for that suggestion, you're right!
You're definitely not alone. I do the same thing. My thoughts are all turned inward and then I'm not listening to anyone until I've shared...
PS- I also detest corporate ice breakers. One time, I just joined a new team and was asked what my favourite vegetable was and why. The "why" of course was an opportunity to craft some HR Babble about one's awesomeness. Someone said "tomato" because they're so dependable and explained how they themselves were an "all rounder". Barfing in my mouth but not wanting to rock the boat so early on this team, I blurted out "thai basil". TomatoMan stopped to challenge me "is that even a vegetable?", which thankfully diverted us from the cringefest to a side convo about culinary herbs vs vegetables. I'm still not sure why I said thai basil😅
If D.C. has no knockoff of "The New Yorker", I want you to start one and be its restaurant critic. While my dentist/hygienist is waterboarding me I like to remind myself that the suicide rate in that field is pronounced. Consider this comment a doctor's prescription to eat endless ice-cream to speed gum-healing. We want our food critics in top knotch shape for sampling delicious meals.
Oh my gosh, I hadn’t even considered the suicide rate. You’re right. I think my own dentist is fine. He gives everyone delicious chocolate chip cookies when they leave, and chocolate chip cookies ward off depression.
You know, I’ve actually thought about starting a DC restaurant column! Thank you for saying that. I just may do it. (And it’s ice cream for breakfast today!)
“Oh no! Nooo! NoOOO!” ran through my head, first paragraph. A design client’s holiday party in a rockstar-trendy SF hotel, the icebreaker (actually fun) was to get a person to say the name of the band taped to their back. Mine: Vampire Weekend. My invited +1,guessed it, and suggested we play two truths and a lie while sipping at the bar - I met him during a friend’s rave the week before. It was then I discovered he was not legally of age to drink 🤯, live and learn (to check IDs). We were already soaked from jumping in the pool in our party clothes; I was 39 and dripping in sequins (and still jump in pools randomly- I love to swim).
The NOLA girl in me is eternal, as much as my craving for 50¢ oyster happy hour with $5 large frozen mimosas on St.Charles Ave. The good news is my favorite French Quarter courtyard place (Café Amelie) and Uptown essential (La Crepe Nanou) have both finally reopened post pandemic permanent closures. Another reason to visit! Though since I started appearing in music clubs since I was 13, I know to definably check IDs while visiting.
I hope your tooth heals up soon. As mentioned, I only grew one quadrant of a wisdom tooth, and it fell out on its own (much to ponder). Gold dipping for a necklace charm for my mom was intention, though she doesn’t want my dumb ass quarter tooth. I keep it in a purple jewelry box. - Hugs and lots of love, my sweet friend. - Cheers!!! ✨🖤🧚♀️🤍✨
Oh, I wish Montmartre would re-open too!! The NoLa restaurant scene sounds fantastic and I still can’t believe I’ve never been.
You’re reminding me of another ice breaker game I hate. I’m always terrible at guessing what movie or movie star or rock band or whatever is pinned to my back!! I’ve missed out on so many classic movies that I’m always clueless.
Your one quadrant of a wisdom tooth cracks me up 😂 I should have asked the surgeon to keep mine for my jewelry collection. Have you seen the Candid Camera bit on that?
Oh my, you MUST visit New Orleans at some point, and I would love to be there for it. Not sure if you know this, though my French ancestors are responsible for forging the grand majority of ironwork in the French Quarter today.
I haven’t seen the candid camera bit, though my name that tune skills are fairly good as a past record store employee, and the matchmaker requested write up I provided (though never used) is loaded with film references (along with “sexy chewer” being a perk 😁). Yeah, I’ve given up on the matchmaking thing. I’m a broken mold!
Though I may not keep a tooth, I’m planning to keep CoCo’s ashes and having them compressed into a gemstone when my heart is fully obliterated. - My breakdown is the intro for the post I’m completing today. Still working on the scripted scene part while he sleeps in my lap between walks. I’m aware of his every breath. … I’m not supposed to read substack till I’m done, though I’m always delighted to hear from you. Sunday cheers!!! ✨🌸🖤🧚♀️🤍🌸✨
Thanks for the mention, Alicia -- honoured to have served as a prompt! So you had a wisdom tooth extraction too? I had that about three weeks ago. Nowehere near as bad as it used to be. Your ma's ice-breaker and those responses are hilarious. Those prices brought tears to my eyes. My old dentist used to stick a load of equipment in my mouth and numb it up with an injection, and then ask me: So how are things? Me: Gmmmph umf gibber. Great post as always!
Grateful to you for inspiring me, Terry! And my goodness, are we losing some of our wisdom at the same time??? (In my case, I lost all of it. Got all four extracted under local anesthesia.)
Loved this post Alicia. It reminded me of a particular skill my wife and children say I have that is the opposite of an ice-breaker. A conversation stopper. Not in the interesting sense, but in the sense that supposedly, I can effortlessly divert a good conversation into a dark cul de sac where the once healthy conversation is quickly strangled.
LOL! That is a talent unto itself. I can just picture your interlocutors awkwardly walking away.
In the most complimentary way, probably because of the footnotes, but also because of the delightfully widening details, this essay reminds me of David Foster Wallace, but easier to read and funnier
That's a huge compliment, Wil! Thank you. I do love a good DFW footnote and was probably inspired by him here.
omg the footnotes!
i havent even got to the title essay of "Consider the Lobster" for months as anal as i CAN be but not charachteristically...that fucker brings it out in one🤗🤣😡
Haha just from the title, hard relate.
So glad I’m not alone!
When I told my husband the story you put in footnote number 8, his jaw dropped open and he said, "That did NOT happen!" I told him that I was pretty sure it did. It's a hilarious anecdote that might work in your Moth story.
Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates ice breakers. I spend the entire time crafting my response in my head, so I don't hear anyone else's, anyway.
LOL! You can tell your husband it absolutely happened. Micheal spent quite awhile crafting that response, and my mother really laughed! He won her over. Thank you for that suggestion, you're right!
You're definitely not alone. I do the same thing. My thoughts are all turned inward and then I'm not listening to anyone until I've shared...
best thing i've read on this site in months.
PS- I also detest corporate ice breakers. One time, I just joined a new team and was asked what my favourite vegetable was and why. The "why" of course was an opportunity to craft some HR Babble about one's awesomeness. Someone said "tomato" because they're so dependable and explained how they themselves were an "all rounder". Barfing in my mouth but not wanting to rock the boat so early on this team, I blurted out "thai basil". TomatoMan stopped to challenge me "is that even a vegetable?", which thankfully diverted us from the cringefest to a side convo about culinary herbs vs vegetables. I'm still not sure why I said thai basil😅
I'm sitting here bursting out laughing at "tomato because they're so dependable." 😂 Good on you for spicing things up!!!
If D.C. has no knockoff of "The New Yorker", I want you to start one and be its restaurant critic. While my dentist/hygienist is waterboarding me I like to remind myself that the suicide rate in that field is pronounced. Consider this comment a doctor's prescription to eat endless ice-cream to speed gum-healing. We want our food critics in top knotch shape for sampling delicious meals.
Oh my gosh, I hadn’t even considered the suicide rate. You’re right. I think my own dentist is fine. He gives everyone delicious chocolate chip cookies when they leave, and chocolate chip cookies ward off depression.
You know, I’ve actually thought about starting a DC restaurant column! Thank you for saying that. I just may do it. (And it’s ice cream for breakfast today!)
“Oh no! Nooo! NoOOO!” ran through my head, first paragraph. A design client’s holiday party in a rockstar-trendy SF hotel, the icebreaker (actually fun) was to get a person to say the name of the band taped to their back. Mine: Vampire Weekend. My invited +1,guessed it, and suggested we play two truths and a lie while sipping at the bar - I met him during a friend’s rave the week before. It was then I discovered he was not legally of age to drink 🤯, live and learn (to check IDs). We were already soaked from jumping in the pool in our party clothes; I was 39 and dripping in sequins (and still jump in pools randomly- I love to swim).
The NOLA girl in me is eternal, as much as my craving for 50¢ oyster happy hour with $5 large frozen mimosas on St.Charles Ave. The good news is my favorite French Quarter courtyard place (Café Amelie) and Uptown essential (La Crepe Nanou) have both finally reopened post pandemic permanent closures. Another reason to visit! Though since I started appearing in music clubs since I was 13, I know to definably check IDs while visiting.
I hope your tooth heals up soon. As mentioned, I only grew one quadrant of a wisdom tooth, and it fell out on its own (much to ponder). Gold dipping for a necklace charm for my mom was intention, though she doesn’t want my dumb ass quarter tooth. I keep it in a purple jewelry box. - Hugs and lots of love, my sweet friend. - Cheers!!! ✨🖤🧚♀️🤍✨
Oh, I wish Montmartre would re-open too!! The NoLa restaurant scene sounds fantastic and I still can’t believe I’ve never been.
You’re reminding me of another ice breaker game I hate. I’m always terrible at guessing what movie or movie star or rock band or whatever is pinned to my back!! I’ve missed out on so many classic movies that I’m always clueless.
Your one quadrant of a wisdom tooth cracks me up 😂 I should have asked the surgeon to keep mine for my jewelry collection. Have you seen the Candid Camera bit on that?
Oh my, you MUST visit New Orleans at some point, and I would love to be there for it. Not sure if you know this, though my French ancestors are responsible for forging the grand majority of ironwork in the French Quarter today.
I haven’t seen the candid camera bit, though my name that tune skills are fairly good as a past record store employee, and the matchmaker requested write up I provided (though never used) is loaded with film references (along with “sexy chewer” being a perk 😁). Yeah, I’ve given up on the matchmaking thing. I’m a broken mold!
Though I may not keep a tooth, I’m planning to keep CoCo’s ashes and having them compressed into a gemstone when my heart is fully obliterated. - My breakdown is the intro for the post I’m completing today. Still working on the scripted scene part while he sleeps in my lap between walks. I’m aware of his every breath. … I’m not supposed to read substack till I’m done, though I’m always delighted to hear from you. Sunday cheers!!! ✨🌸🖤🧚♀️🤍🌸✨
Thanks for the mention, Alicia -- honoured to have served as a prompt! So you had a wisdom tooth extraction too? I had that about three weeks ago. Nowehere near as bad as it used to be. Your ma's ice-breaker and those responses are hilarious. Those prices brought tears to my eyes. My old dentist used to stick a load of equipment in my mouth and numb it up with an injection, and then ask me: So how are things? Me: Gmmmph umf gibber. Great post as always!
Grateful to you for inspiring me, Terry! And my goodness, are we losing some of our wisdom at the same time??? (In my case, I lost all of it. Got all four extracted under local anesthesia.)
Omg: 4? I just had the one, thank goodness. It is so lovely to see you writing here again.
Yes, all four 😭 Next step is to get my tonsils lasered off. It’s the season for spring cleaning my mouth!
Good grief. But why tonsils?
quite apart from the James Salter sighting quite an interesting and expert segue 💪👌
Merci ! (Also, I agree with the title of your Substack. Bacon really is the chocolate of meats!)
wish i could take credit for it but yeah thats what keeps the same 7 people coming back
and ohh the hashbrowns too
😂