There’s a coffee shop on Main Street in Warrenton where I’ve taken to reading stories. Every now and then someone will sit at a table adjacent and hop on a Zoom call and for a time I lamented the lack of etiquette inherent to one-sided public conversations until I started doing it myself. If everyone jumped off a cliff, so would I. The last time I took a private call so publicly was over a decade ago in a FedEx on 14th Street. My casting for
In Scots, topless would be pronounced tapless. That made me chuckle. 🤭
My philosophy is if you are going to carry on a conversation, then it's fair game to listen in. Where else would pick up dialogue gems that you never, ever would have thought of?
Public private conversation, I’ve found, is cultural. On the NYC subway I once overheard a tragic breakup and also a plot to get someone fired. It’s an odd thing I don’t do, though can have time and place when unavoidable. On the Emily Post substack (of my favorites) this was discussed. I feel it’s important to disclose to someone when on speakerphone or in a public place as courtesy, and realize words may be a filtered and truth diluted. Reality TV is a most appropriate case of the public spilling of deets, as long as no NDA is violated, so ya good! Even in writing on a life based circumstance, anonymity is a consideration when outside of an agreement.
The one case that bugs me most about it is when it comes to the design side of me. If I so much as see someone once rattling off the future of a business in public I will always decline to work with that person. On the acting side, I once needed to make choices on an comparative argument scene with a partner while on a tight schedule leaving us without location. Not revealing the actual script, mind you, we went to the park and got a lot of raised eyebrows of concern. I thought one gent might interfere. We went to the beach and even with the ocean noise we were approached by the police, and resorted to arguing in a parked car. The studio was closed and our time was narrow. The public responds.
Alicia, I get such a cheer in my heart when I see your substack notices appear in my inbox. So glad I caught this one, as I am still in the day-for-each-year-lived birthday marathon since September. You and the tapas/topless and me in the leopard-lounge-it’s-a-dance-club-!!!! Love the leopard 💖 🐆 no matter what anyone says. The only disappointment is for those who show up hoping to see you naked. Cheers, and have a beautiful day. ✨🧚♀️✨
I was on the train once where the was idiot shouting into his phone: I'd like to order X. My address is:... Here's my credit card details. I'm going to be away for two weeks...
Thanks to Bluetooth earbuds, my quiet neighborhood is abuzz with one-sided phone conversations of walkers at most hours of the day. The ones I really find fascinating are the ones people have in their cars with windows rolled up. So, we can't hear what THEY're saying, but their friend's voice is blasting through the car speakers and into the parking lot for everyone to enjoy. 😂
Such a great post! Tapas bars will never be the same again.
As usual, you made me laugh. “Your brother and tapas.” Am in DC now in Martin Luther King Library, thinking of you as anything but “submissive”. The Mies van der Rohe gorgeous building that I fought to save has been restored. Wondering if you ever made it to the Penn Quarter where we might have even crossed paths. This where I moved when writing the “all true” memoir I’m now posting here on Substack.
After reading your post, I had to send you this clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm.